An Exerpt

I made your mom into a parachute.

Pooping bores me most of the time.

Ground horse teeth.

I hate it when I put on deodorant when my armpits are chapped and it starts to tingle and burn. But even if I didn’t put on deodorant, it would burn because sweat stings when it drips in open sores. Your mom should have some experience in that area.

Your mom has herpes.

I was once force fed a crayon. I think it was grey.

Garbanzo beans have 7 grams of dietary fiber per 130g. That means you won’t poo like a fountain.

This is my cell phone

This is my shoe.

What I am saying is directed towards you

This is a paper

This is a kick

When I point down the camera I’ll show you my wallet.